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COME HOME

COME HOME!

Life is one big experiment, one learning curve to another, one mistake after another, revelation leading to another, being broken to be repaired, getting lost then being found, shedding skins and multiple deaths only to being transformed and rebirthed. Most experiences transformed into branded memories in our mind that replay repeatedly without permission, while other memories are lost somewhere into a sea of forgetfulness.
Most of us wake up in this lucid dream years later under the “big top”, of unpredictability seeking for “ things” that we believe will lead us back to home. Like unconscious nomads we will sooner or later find ourselves wandering in this wonderous unmapped terrain without a clue why we are here and what is the meaning of our life. Trying to connect the dots and make logical sense to our journey, in hope that we can find our truth and story. We come crying into this bright light of life as seekers learning who we are by being taught to “be acceptable” and then we learn who others are in our relationships that who project their ideas that are nothing more than their faults, confusion, brokenness, wisdom, and truth ( not ours ) onto us. These are our teachers of life and now looking back at them we can see clearly we have attained their essence, ( not ours ).
When we were children we would run, play and pretend until one day we “ grow up “, and don’t even realize we have lost our magic and mystical imagination in a dark fog that lays beyond the shores of our innocent laughter and “ make believe “ yet, the echoes ache in or hearts. As we “ grow up ”, meaning we physically get older and lose those powers that enforce the true essence of our being. Now we long for what we do not have and have so much of what we do not want. We surrender our imaginative seekings for constant desperate longings, striving more each day to reach some invisible pinnacle of achievement seeking accolades, acceptance and security. Each time we conquer a test or trial we grip tightly all our trophies that we have won through our hard work and sacrifice. Not having the life experience to see that the faster we run the less time we have. The ultimate conquest and final notice is we all will arrive at the same destination sooner or later. The more we travel on the path of life, the more we realize that work is endless plowing of the field and sacrifice is many times a wound that never heals. Bleeding out at times to the point that we grapple of struggling to find the strength to get up and start again. So many, “ do overs “, like children when we learned that we could always begin again without consequences but, now our “ do overs “ cost us time, tears, loved ones, relationships, money, dreams and even home”. All the things we believed as children have become faded, distorted, stolen and untrue departing from our thoughts as nothing more than fairy tales. Time passes by and we find ourselves in a place that we are not familiar with, surrounded by those we don’t know anymore. Our life and soul cracks open us up, if we are fortunate, to reveal that everything we thought we were is but, a white washed shell of others ideas, desires, beliefs and faults.
Infamous is the day that we are shattered into so many pieces that our unrecognizable soul lays prostrate in the burning ashes and slivered chards of what is left of what we were. Birth is beautifully painful and yet, death bites us without warning striking its venomous poison deep within rotting us from the inside out leaving us alone. As time passes, our fragile finite bodies collect the beautiful, loving, truth, happy, sad, ugly, broken and empty ingredients for our life recipe. Little do we know that one day we will be seated at the table that we have built and find ourselves eating the very meal we have created by ourselves.
We find ourselves seeking for something familiar and we start to sense a strange, sweet pain that whispers to our soul. Home becomes a deep secret that we keep protected in our hearts that can be triggered by the smells of baked cookies, crisp soft sheets, music, playmates, being held or not being held, sneaking outside, the visions of freedom unrestrained and living days of discovering the first times of our lives.
So many of us reach a point in our lives that we long for home, and as strange as that may sound because we have had many homes already in our life. But, there is this place in our soul that calls to us, “ find home!”. We search for a place to land from our weary travels and rest ourselves from the battles we have faced and loss we have incurred. Seeking that sacred sanctuary where we can go to knowing that it is “ ours “, a dwelling that cannot be lost or taken one more time from us. To not have to worry that home is not connected to who we are living with or that it can be even split into. Home! Our home! That place we can always go to that we belong to and belongs to us, and no on has any rights to it, but us. We can stay as long as we want and if we decide to leave it, we can lock the doors without any keys for others who can come and go as they please. How beautiful is this place that we search for, that we can go into and lock the doors and lock the world out, if we so choose.
What does your home look like? If you could build this place of safety and refuge what colors would you use? How would you decorate this special place and if there were no restraints financially or provisionally what would you build? Now I can feel my imagination stirring within me like a child who has been given their first box of crayons, so many colors and each one makes me feel a certain way. Yes, I think I will color a house on the top of a beautiful green hill with a bright red front door, a large tree, a swing and deep green grass. A beautiful blue sky some white clouds, a big bright yellow sun with rays of orange shooting out and I think I will put a smiling face in it so that it I will remember to smile every time I see it.
Many of us feel like we are prisoners in places where we live because so we have many outside circumstances that control our lives. We realize that we have created in this prison of our lives our position of being enslaved to our fear of loss. There were times in our lives before that we can look back in our past that we stepped out, jumped ship, and took the risks to free ourselves from or prison. Pain has the ability to push us to the edge whether it be the threshold or standing on a cliff awakening to the sound of crumbling ground behind our heels. Like a bird that takes flight from being startled, we jump and pray that we fly or at least land in one piece. Fear can only hold those who will not accept the truth about their soul’s true condition and see how depraved their lives have become living on the crumbs for so long that their pain and hunger creates a tormenting desperation that they can no longer live with. How self-destructive to wake up every day to only realize you are living to just barely sustaining your life. Learning the skill of managing your life with a wounded soul, faded dreams, broken trust, unloyalty, and dealing with the deep emotionally physical damage, collecting medicinal bottles to ease your sicknesses, ailments or worse. It is unfathomable how the soul will go to any lengths to survive and if the soul cannot accomplish this it, will employ our mind in order that we can maintain and disassociate from the parasitic tentacles that are draining us of our time, energy, health and hope.
We each have our unique path, like our blueprint and we are individually are in different places on our journey but, one thing for sure we will all experience these feelings whether you may admit it or keep it as a deep secret. We are all human, although, I have met a few people that I have wondered about. The most loyal act you can do for yourself is to listen to your soul. So many of us drown out our truthful authentic souls voice for many reasons but, it is your soul that knows the truth and not just the truth but, your emancipating powerful truth. Maybe its time to get quiet, find a sacred space and take the time to be loyal to yor soul. We spend so much of our lives and energy being loyal to our jobs, our family, our significant other and friends. Exhausting so much of ourselves to keep the peace or stay in the good graces of “ life “. All the time we are doing this very thing we find ourselves sad, miserable, discontent or very disconnected with a loss of inner peace. We will have moments in our lives that we will need to take an emotional, physical and spiritual inventory in order that we can bring balance back into our lives. This inventory may create chaos that will have to be faced courageously and other times it maybe just a little change that will bring equilibrium back. We have been trained to avoid suffering at all costs, to skirt any pain if we can. In truth, it is pain and suffering that brings the truth and answers that we seek so many times. It is at those times we need to learn to sit down with our pain and ask what does this pain need? What is it saying to me? Maybe, your pain is the fear of loss? So much of our lives are built around the fear of loss, we will do so much to keep things intact. Many of those things we do will cost us and the price is very high but, hindsight is 20/20. Can you sit with your pain, suffering, loss, betrayal, confusion and anger long enough to have yours opened? It will take courage and I am not suggesting it will be easy but, I will tell you that it is the only way to find the truth about what you need to know to overcome these battles. It is not our light that we fear but, our darkness and we all have our dark caves that we must learn to excavate if we long to transform our pain into our power. It is our deep inner guru that awaits in the dark caves of truth calling to you, “ come home!”

YOU CANNOT!

You cannot reason with unreasonable people
You cannot talk logically to an illogical mind
You cannot express honest emotions to a emotionally unstable individual
You cannnot be honest with those who lie
You cannot trust someone who talks about others behind their backs when they are not around
You cannot expect someone to be generous because they have money … generosity doesn’t come from the wallet it comes from the heart!
You cannot expect gratitude from anyone who displays selfishness
You cannot look for loyalty In someone who is constantly judgmental
You cannot find compassion in a critical heart
You cannot find a true friend in fair weather
Only storms create them!
You cannot believe you are always right
Agree to disagree
You cannot believe you are always wrong
Agree to disagree
You cannot concede to ownership
You will eventually find yourself a slave
You cannot believe someone is telling the whole truth most likely they are telling the truth they know
You cannot give permission to just anyone or everyone
Permission like respect should be earned or granted
You cannot be close to a person who burns others
A fire does not have any discretion
You cannot find humility in someone who tells you they are humbled
You cannot stop people from continuing to harm you unless you make them apart of your past
You cannot get rid of the memories but, you can get rid of the pain
You cannot listen to everything you hear
Know when to turn off the “ sound”
You cannot be labeled unless you pin it on yourself
You cannot understand what I have written unless you have been through it all!

I WANT TO LIVE!

God please give me the strength and help to say good bye…. It has taken its toll on me in every way! But… My body can not handle it anymore. I cannot control or understand why others would create so much pain for me. But, I have tried and I must stop letting the pain rob me of my life, my joy and my health. It wasn’t my choice to do this – it was the only thing i can do to survive. My love will always be there but, I must accept their choices that they don’t need to have what I need. I have done all I can do … Please fill my emptiness with what is helpful for me. I need to for my heart to get better I cannot wait any longer feeling this pain. I hope I can learn to forgive what was taken from me. Too many tears, too much pain, and I have done my best. Time tells all I put this matter in Your hands. The truth is in Your hands. I must now become someone new, I must leave not just my past behind….. But I must say ” Good Bye” until one day those who I love may be changed.
I want to live!

What Is Love?

Who can say they understand love? It is as elusive as the air you breath and yet, as solid as stone. You can’t see it and yet, you can feel it. You can’t touch it and yet, you know when it’s arrived or left. Everyone has an idea of what love is but, no one’s idea is the same. Love has many faces and many names. Yet… It as simple as a hug at the right moment… A smile at any given time… and the touch of a hand. How powerful is this mystery we call love it has conquered kings and emperors and even made the greatest warriors surrender their swords. Yet, no one has ” seen” it… No one can ” catch” it and no one can ” buy” it. But, if you have found ” it” you have found the most precious of all commodities of heaven and earth combined. In fact, love finds you because the more you look for it the harder it is to find. Never play hide and seek with love it is a losers game. The only way to get ” love” is to give it away. Give away what you may or may not think you have. Give away what you are searching for. Yes! Love is a great mystery! @sks2017

COME HOME !

Life is one big experiment, one learning curve to another, one mistake after another, revelation leading to another, being broken to be repaired, getting lost then being found, shedding and deaths only to being transformed and rebirth. Mostexperiences transform into branded memories in our mind that replay repeatedly without permission, while other memories are lost somewhere into a sea of forgetfulness.

Most of us wake up in this lucid dream years later under the “big top”, of unpredictability seeking for     “ things” that we believe will lead us back to home.  Like unconscious nomads we will sooner or later find ourselves wandering in this wonderous unmapped terrain without a clue why we are here and what is the meaning of our life. Trying to connect the dots and make logical sense to our journey, in hope that we can find our truth and story. We come crying into this bright light of life as seekers learning who we are by being taught to “be acceptable” and then we learn who others are in our relationships that who project their ideas that are nothing more than their faults, confusion, brokenness, wisdom, and truth ( not ours ) onto us.  These are our teachers of life and now looking back at them we can see clearly we have attained their essence, ( not ours ).

When we were children we would run, play and pretend until one day we “ grow up “, and don’t even realize we have lost ourmagic and mystical imagination in a dark fog that lays beyond the shores of our innocent laughter and “ make believe “ yet, the echoes ache in or hearts.  As we “ grow up ”, meaning we physically get older and lose those powers that enforce the true essence of our being.  Now we long for what we do not have and have so much of what we do not want.  We surrender our imaginative seekings for constant desperate longings, striving more each day to reach some invisible pinnacle of achievementseeking accolades, acceptance and security.  Each time we conquer a test or trial we grip tightly all our trophies that we have won through our hard work and sacrifice. Not having the life experience to see that the faster we run the less time we have.  The ultimate conquest and final notice is we all will arrive at the same destination sooner or later. The more we travel on the path of life, the more we realize that work is endless plowing of the field and sacrifice is many times a wound that never heals.Bleeding out at times to the point that we grapple of struggling to find the strength to get up and start again.  So many, “ doovers “, like children when we learned that we could always begin again without consequences but, now our “ do overs “ cost us time, tears, loved ones, relationships, money, dreams and even home”.  All the things we believed as children have become faded, distorted, stolen and untrue departing from our thoughts as nothing more than fairy tales. Time passes by and we find ourselves in a place that we are not familiar with,surrounded by those we don’t know anymore. Our life and soulcracks open if we are fortunate, to reveal that everything we thought we were is but, a white washed shell of others ideas, desires, beliefs and faults.

Infamous is the day that we are shattered into so many pieces that our unrecognizable soul lays prostrate in the burning ashes and slivered chards of what is left of what we were.  Birth is beautifully painful and yet, death bites us without warning striking its venomous poison deep rotting us from the  inside outleaving us alone. As time passes our these fragile finite bodies collect the beautiful, loving, truth, happy, sad, ugly, broken and empty ingredients for our life recipe.   Little do we know that one day we will be seated at the table that we have built and find ourselves eating the very meal we have created by ourselves.

We find ourselves seeking for something familiar and we start to sense a strange, sweet pain that whispers to our soul.  Home becomes a deep secret that we keep protected in our hearts that can be triggered by the smells of baked cookies, crisp soft sheets, music, playmates, being held or not being held, sneaking outside, the visions of freedom unrestrained and living days of discovering the first times of our lives.

So many of us reach a point in our lives that we long for home, and as strange as that may sound because we have had many homes already in our life.  But, there is this place in our soul that calls to us, “ find home!”.  We search for a place to land from our weary travels and rest ourselves from the battles we have faced and loss we have incurred.  Seeking that sacred sanctuary where we can go to knowing that it is “ ours “, a dwelling that cannot be lost or taken one more time from us.  To not have to worry that home is not connected to who we are living with or that it can be even split apart.  Home!  Our home!  That place we can always go to that we belong to and belongs to us, and no onhas any rights to it, but us.  We can stay as long as we want and if we decide to leave it, we can lock the doors without any keys for others who can come and go as they please.  How beautiful is this place that we search for that we can go into and lock the doors and lock the world out, if we so choose.

What does your home look like?  If you could build this place of safety and refuge what colors would you use? How would youdecorate this special place and if there were no restraints financially or provisionally what would you build?   Now I can feel my imagination stirring within me like a child who has been given their first box of crayons, so many colors and each one makes me feel a certain way.  Yes, I think I will color a house on the top of a beautiful green hill with a bright red front door, a large tree, a swing and deep green grass. A beautiful blue sky some white clouds, a big bright yellow sun with rays of orange shooting out and I think I will put a smiling face in it so that it I will remember to smile every time I see it. 

Many of us feel like we are prisoners to places that we live because, so we have many outside circumstances that control our lives.  We realize that we have created in this prison our position of being enslaved to our fear of loss.  There were times in our lives before that we can look back in our past that we stepped out, jumped ship, and took the risks to free ourselves from or prison.  Pain has the ability to push us to the edge whether it be the threshold or standing on a cliff awakening to the sound of crumbling ground behind our heels.  Like a bird that takes flight from being startled, we jump and pray that we fly or at least land in one piece.  Fear can only hold those who will not accept the truth about their soul’s true condition and see how depraved their lives have become living on the crumbs for so long that their pain and hunger creates a tormenting desperation that they can no longer live with.  How self-destructive to wake up every day to only realize you are living to just barely sustaining your life. Learning the skill of managing your life with a wounded soul, faded dreams, broken trust, unloyalty, and dealing with the deep emotionally physical damage, collecting medicinal bottles to ease your sicknesses, ailments or worse.  It is unfathomable how the soul will go to any lengths to survive and if the soul cannot accomplish this it,will employ our mind in order that we can maintain and disassociate from the parasitic tentacles that are draining us of our time, energy, health and hope.   

We each have our unique path, like our blueprint and we areindividually are in different places on our journey but, one thingfor sure we will all experience these feelings whether you may admit it or keep it as a deep secret. We are all human, although, I have met a few people that I have wondered about. The most loyal act you can do for yourself is to listen to your soul. So many of us drown out our truthful authentic souls voice for many reasons but, it is your soul that knows the truth and not just the truth but, your emancipating powerful truth. Maybe itstime to get quiet, find a sacred space and take the time to be loyal to yor soul. We spend so much of our lives and energy being loyal to our jobs, our family, our significant other and friends. Exhausting so much of ourselves to keep the peace or stay in the good graces of “ life “. All the time we are doing this very thing we find ourselves sad, miserable, discontent or very disconnected with a loss of inner peace. We will have moments in our lives that we will need to take an emotional, physical and spiritual inventory in order that we can bring balance back into our lives. This inventory may create chaos that will have to be faced courageously and other times it maybe just a little change that will bring equilibrium back. We have been trained to avoidsuffering at all costs, to skirt any pain if we can. In truth, it is pain and suffering that brings the truth and answers that we seek so many times. It is at those times we need to learn to sit down with our pain and ask what does this pain need? What is it saying to me? Maybe, your pain is the fear of loss? So much of our lives are built around the fear of loss, we will do so much to keep things intact. Many of those things we do will cost us and the price is very high but, hindsight is 20/20. Can you sit with your pain, suffering, loss, betrayal, confusion and anger long enough to have yours opened? It will take courage and I am not suggesting it will be easy but, I will tell you that it is the only way to find the truth about what you need to know to overcome these battles. It is not our light that we fear but, our darkness and we all have our dark caves that we must learn to excavate if we long to transform our pain into our power. It is our deep inner guru that awaits in the dark caves of truth calling to you, “ come home!”

ARE YOU AWAKE?

Are you awake?
Are you sure ?
Are you facing who you are ?
Have you seen yourself as the observer?
Does who you think you are resonate with others?
What if you discovered you were not awake?
What if you are experiencing your life in a state of self induced slumber to silence the words you don’t want to hear and blindness to keep you from seeing the things you do not want to see?
How would you know if you are in a state of delusion? Would you believe it if anyone told you ? Would you even entertain it if it could bring about the ability to grasp that part of yourself that eluded you that only you know?
What if you woke up and found that years have been spent living in a slumber?
Would you feel betrayed? Sad? Angry?
How would you know?
Unless some powerful unseen force brought you to the place of no return and gave you a glimpse?
Who would you be awake?
What would you do?
Are you comfortable?
Do you feel that you have reached a place where your past has taught you how to live in your present and predict your future?
What if I told you the past does not exist?
Only in your mind!
What if your past is wrong?
What if the way you believe about your past is distorted?
What if you don’t know?
If you say immediately “ No!”
Then you may be defensive to protect your realization that is not willing to be put to the test!
Being asleep is comfortable and we do not want to be disturbed!
It’s disturbing isn’t it? To think that you could be asleep while you are awake!
It’s disturbing when you feel that all that you have learned and gathered may need to be reevaluated.
Are you disturbed by this idea?
What if I told you that when wake up everything changes! You change!
The world changes!
You see what could not see
You hear what you could not hear
You have become conscious
It is sad you live your live in a dream and never know
Never realize that you can wake up
Are you awake?
There are many things that could cause you to slumber your soul
Grief, anger, betrayal, disappointment, loss, rage, depression, sadness, abuse, loneliness, control, trauma, ……. etc… etc…..
It is easy fir many see others who seem to be in a slumber and yet, we may think we are awake?
Seeing others in a state does not mean you are on the outside looking in
It could mean you are very well on the inside observing
You may say, “ I know myself!”
I say “ What if you think you do but, are still asleep?”
You can only wake up if you start to ask “ Am I asleep?”

The Sacrifice of Tears

The Sacrifice of Tears

Don’t give away your tears

for those who do not deserve them

Others will steal them away if you are not careful !

My child, don’t you understand the power of your tears?

It is so much easier to laugh or smile

But, crying is not like that

It takes much more to cry!

Crying takes so much courage.

We’re you taught that crying was a bad thing or something to avoid ?

Pain is unavoidable but, it is not evil

Pain creates room for My Spirit to come in and transform it into something beautiful l, if you allow

Why would you do that and what a great struggle within to fight the power of tears from flowing

It is a gift from Me to you

It is natural and healing

Tears will wash away the ashes from the altar of sacrifice

Let it go!

It’s not ugly, weak, pitiful, or even useless to cry

It is one of the most beautiful acts of love you have been given

Don’t let anyone or anything tell you something different !

Crying is so beautiful and just the sound of a tear drop can silence angels

What kind of prayers are these?

What sound is this that flows from your soul?

Angels long to know!

Open up the flood gates My child and let it go

Let the river of poetic Divine silence flow freely

I hear you!

I understand every tear

It is not a useless act

It is a sacrifice of truth and love to be recognized

Don’t let anyone steal your tears

Don’t let your heart turn cold or become hard like stone

Water your soul!

It is these priceless tears that create masterpieces on My garden

Springtime where there is a harsh brutal lWinter

Light where there is darkness

Fire where there is ice

Life where there is death

How beautiful is this sacrifice of tears?

Can you capture the sunset and put it in a bottle?

Can you put the sea into a well?

No

Of course not!

Then how could I tell you in any language you could understand or music that could move your soul how beautiful they are?

Don’t let anything take your tears away

It is your precious tears that draw Me so close to your soul!

This is the door that is always open

This is the power that moves mountains and casts them into the sea

There is not a single thought or word that contains the eternal qualities of your tears

Cry! My child ……

Let us speak with one another face to face

Signed,

The Mystery

The Sacrifice of Tears

Mary Mary How Does Your Garden Grow?

It is the power of pain that discovers healing

It is the tears that discover the power of joy

It is loneliness that discovers love

It is the sun that discovers the moon

It is the darkness that discovers the light

It is the winter that discovers spring

It is life that discovers death

We are just here experiencing the power of discovery!

Life is a journey to discover who you are.

You are not this body

You are not your things

You are not your status

You are not your pain

You are not your family

You are not what can be seen

You are not what can be felt

All these things will pass away!

Don’t get to the end of this journey to discover that you were misled

All that glitters is not gold

All the experiences you have encountered or endured are meant to teach you how to cultivate love even in the harshest winters!

If you can learn how to cultivate love using the painful experiences of your life …… You will see the miraculous power of transforming pain into beauty!

It is in the darkness of our garden, deep in the soul of our soil we discover the golden rule of who we truly are!

“Mary Mary How does your garden grow? “

The God Reality

The discovery and knowledge of GOD is a constant force on our journey. We are constantly turning over new rocks and seeing things we never have seen or knew before on our path. God is not a religion and does not belong to anyone or any religion. The more we allow ourselves to investigate, explore and venture into the reality that God IS! God can be everywhere and everything. The Bible is a guide not an alibi. God speaks! God has spoken! Do you hear? Can you see? We can trust God, trust Gods words but, God cannot be held hostage to anyone’s idea. Telling God what to do because we think we are entitled doesn’t work. That’s like trying to command the sea and the wind because you hold a compass standing on a ship? I have found that God is Infinite and mysterious. The more I dig into this garden of the Creator called Life, the more I can see that I can only confront and remove my blindness by acknowledging my entitlements, letting go of the rules and regulations and accepting myself and God ( with all my questions ). The more I realize the less I know or understand!!! God is wonder leading us into the unknown. The more we seek we find ourselves climbing into a well only to fall into the ocean. I must confess that this journey starts out wanting to apprehend God but, ends in only being apprehended. What you allow yourself to see without fear will lead you away from everything you understand. It is here in this place where you will experience God as a vast Universe. All the ” things or places” we consider or call sacred are for ” us”. Places of connection and doorways not, appointments, meetings or rituals. Don’t be afraid to follow what you believe beyond the restraints of fear that others call ” safe, appropriate and theologically correct”. This is your path – if where you are isn’t working then it only makes sense to keep traveling. You are not doing anyone including God service by sitting in a tree that bears fruit that others gather. Have you gathered any fruit? Maybe it’s time to find a basket and go seeking bbeyond the tree.

@sks2017

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