There are moments in our lives when we question the existence of God. We can not find understanding or come to some peaceful acceptance about our lives. We desperately want some relief from the internal turmoil that rages within like a consuming fire. There appears to be no place, person or thing that can give us answers, comfort or assurance. Yes… There are those moments that have come to each one of us personally in the darkness and the light leaving us alone to resolve our faith, our journey and our truth for ourselves alone. Without these moments we will never truly comprehend that we can make plans, God laughs and we cry. To realize that we can and have been given the gifted ability to choose whatever path we want, believe what we want, to live in the light, the darkness or live in the colorless existence where we don’t acknowledge either. No matter how long it takes.. An hour, a day, a month or years we can only find ourselves when we come to our desperate valley of decisions. It is the only truth power that we have and it is in this place that we must learn that we are sum total of all our decisions. We have become our own responsibility not someone else’s blame. So realizing the confusing questions that lay before us like forked paths we try to choose the right decision understanding that even though we cannot move forward until we decide, we are still in the hands of a unprejudiced power that has no obligation to our plans, desires or questions. Accepting the truth of this disturbing knowledge and finding peace deep with in our mind and soul is more than just a leap of blind faith … Because blind faith could never describe the deep intensity of the emotional trauma, risk, fear and questions that we must surrender to make our decision of what are next step… our next turn on this journey of discovery that ticks away continually will be. Blindness is only one aspect of our condition in this desperate moment. We have become numb without and painful within experiencing the true meaning of what alone is. Faith is what we read as the hope for things or belief in things that cannot be seen and yet hoped for. I must say through my own experience alone this sounds so insignificant… So shallow when we are swimming in a raging sea with no help in sight. Truth is what exists whether we can see it, feel it, understand it or find it. Truth is this pearl of great price we all seek … To know… To understand… To find peace even if the truth disrupts our lives at least we are no longer living in the unknown fog of confusion. Faith is a decision but Truth is a fact that exists continually. It does not change its colors or wane because of the difficulties in my life. My mind chooses to believe whatever I decide this is faith … But I can believe in something that has no truth in it whatsoever and that faith will not require it to change. I believe in miracles but, this is not what I am talking about. To even think that we have control over miracles would make us God. I am talking about the nitty gritty of those desperate moments in life we all must go through feeling helpless and alone. I say having faith is what keeps a flame lit in our soul that gives us hope for a brighter day, a better tomorrow and a possibility. I think it requires some faith to make those decisions we must make to step forward out of this place of turmoil. But it is truth that we seek to accept what we may not like or what we may not have or get. Truth requires this word acceptance that gives us the idea that we must settle for something or some circumstance that is negative. I mean honestly… When does one often hear one say ” I finally came to accept through much difficulty that I am rich, beautiful and intelligent?” I know that is an extreme example but, sometimes we must describe an extreme example to make a very clear point. How do we find the gentle power of peace to accept the truth? Acceptance has three roads… The first is to accept the truth that the way things are can not be changed.. .. The second is to accept the present circumstances but realize the truth is that we can and have the power to change it if we so decide… And third accept the truth that the circumstances exist and cannot be changed and we can decide to leave the circumstances behind. Truth and acceptance are the powerful life changing foundations for our decisions that will move us forward from this place of turmoil, confusion and disillusion. Faith and courage to carry out those decisions are an entirely different dimension yet, equally as important in their own particular way. To have faith and courage without truth and acceptance creates an imbalance in our decisions. Truth, acceptance, faith and courage are all words that belong together. Each word carries with it, it’s very own special impartation of balance and wisdom. The question is can we accept the truth? If we accept the truth what terms will we decide to accept and move forward with? If we can come to this place of understanding then our confusion begins to lift, the path becomes clearer and we realize our hope. It is in this place, this position of powerful decision that we all have or can reach that once we have decided our choice that we can move forward with faith and courage in our path. We may want or have faith that our path is leading us to a specific destination but, the truth will show up again and we must understand that the problems we face along the way is truth challenging us to accept what is best for us. Not what’s best for everyone else but, our personal truth. Our journey may lead us to our rainbow of faith, our spiritual pot of gold. Most likely it may lead us to the place where God wants us to be to be happy…oops! Did I just sat that word? Happy! Do you believe that being happy ( which is what we all desire) may not be anything like what your pot of gold may be? Yes…. Truth ! The truth is most of us are miserable and confused because we actually believe that all we must do is believe and have faith that God will do what we think will make us happy as long as we have faith. I have met and must confess I was disillusioned by these religious sing songs and still struggle with them at times. I am not discrediting the scripture or doctrine of truth . I am just remarkably shocked that many of us ( including me) have not been taught to understand the depth of truth in such spiritual teachings. I have seen the same people go to church and ask for prayer for the same problems over and over again only to be told ” just keep the faith” – ” let go and let God” . What a disservice and misrepresentation to Truth and how we rob ourselves and others of what they really need to change their lives and get out of the destructive confusing cycles or quicksand. I am not implying that I ” know it all” I am just another ” you” trying to walk my journey without religious fairy tales or spiritual icing that produces an idea of unrealistic truth. I hope that my journey can help another” me” …. Someone seeking and willing to listen without judgment or chopping down the apple tree with their doctrinal axe when they are starving to death. Where are you now? What are you facing? Do you want change? Are you willing to accept the truth? If you feel lost and confused…. Alone as you may feel, your not. See that person next to you? Either they are there or have been there if they have lived long enough. I guess it comes down to this…. I could sing you a song or I could tell you the Truth. Trust me when I say this the Truth will not only hurt less but, sound so much better. SKG

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