Monthly Archives: December 2011
We are created as a perfect blueprint unique and only one of a kind. There are no two alike… we are born into this world fully mature. Our souls are ageless entities that do not change. We are born and it is at that very moment that our natural minds take over and the face of our soul and all that we are spiritually starts to fade away from our memory. We are born knowing exactly who we are, what we are here to do and what we look like. Our first breath here begins to wipe away the thought, the memory, the feeling of all that we knew before that first breath. Time passes and we progressively move away from our eternal existence. We are thrown into this world of the unknown to clamor and fight our way for every spiritual breath. We must be brought to a place in this life where we question our very existence before we begin to see. Why are we here? What are we suppose to do? Who are you? What do we believe? We try to change our hair color, our style, our bodies but we can not move away from the source of our being. It remains the same without change. Our souls pull on us like a magnet pulling us to its source. For our soul has a constant awareness that it is the mediator that draws us to our Source and purpose. Surrendering to its pull is accomplished by stillness…….
I have been on a quest, a journey, a spiritual expedition one might call it for some time now…. I cut the rope from the dock of all that I knew to be my belief system and trusted that God was bigger than the dock and stronger than a rope. God was (GOMU) God of my understanding because I had to confess that what I thought I knew about God was like an ant saying it understands quantum physics. It was more than a “leap of faith”; it was so much more and required blind trust. I guess one could summarize it as when a child who cannot swim who is standing at the edge of the pool and the parent says to the child “jump!”… And the child jumps towards the parent. The belief that God’s love and grace is greater to protect me and keep me from these winds of uncertainty is all that I could take with me. I think we are afraid to let go because we think if we let go we will end up in “hell” or some place of darkness and disillusion. It was a very difficult action to take but… I came to a place in my life where I knew that I could not go any further in the Spirit if I did not let go of the past and all that I knew to be faith as I knew it. The past did not just include the bad things but, the good as well. I know that is probably very hard for some to hear, believe me I wrestled with it like Jacob wrestled with the angel for more than just a night!
It has been a very intense and tumultuous journey but, I know now that I have made the right choice. I have come to the place where I moved into a different dimension with my faith and who I am. I have gazed into the cosmic mirrors of self-realization and where there was once no reflection – I now see. Being the person that I am today I guess you could say that my spirituality is like a diamond with many facets. With colors constantly changing as the light hits each one like dancing lights, fluidity is the movement and constancy is its life.
As you move forward on the journey into the unknown you realize that there are many who have gone before you and that you are not alone. This journey is a path that the further you travel on it, the less you can take with you. There has been so much baggage I have had to throw overboard. Unforgiveness, resentments, hatred, arrogance, ignorance, prejudice, fear, self-pity, pride, beliefs, systems, ideas, dreams, ego, habits and memories. I have had to even throw overboard some of those “bags” that I thought were filled with “good”, as well.
We are such creatures of habit that it is almost impossible for God to get us to let go of the side of the pool to learn to swim. We would rather hold on to the side for the rest of our lives because it “feels” safe than learn what we must do to “be” safe. I had to let “go” and it was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.
Spirituality is a mediator and religion is a divider. I have realized that to grow and to move in this dimensional existence that I must maintain the mind of mediation. My faith is living, breathing and moving… I walk in it and it is in every breath that I breathe. I am not here to judge or be judged. I am not here to convert or be converted. I am here to connect and share, to give and respect all things in love and truth. Ghandi said “I like your Christ… but I don’t much like your Christians”, what a statement…. I am sure Ghandi could have said that about me at one time in my life. Religion is a state of mind and spirituality is a state of being. They are at such opposite ends of the spectrum. One is a big block of cement and the other is a river – the best analogy I can come up with. For so long I carried my faith like a heavy block of cement or marble… I carved out a beautiful sculpture with all I had experienced and learned. It was gorgeous! But boy was that “icon” hard to pull around! But at least I could show it off and it looked so beautiful! It is amazing to realize that it was the heaviest and first thing to be left at the dock when I left on my spiritual expedition!
Faith is now like a river of energy that I exist in and it exists in me. It is not an object, a medal, a reward or something that is inanimate. It is constantly fluid and moving it keeps me in the state of being. It is the place where there is clarity, focus, and balance. It is the place of purpose and peace, being in the moment. I think that has been one of the hardest things I have had to release my mind and focus it on is “THE MOMENT”. I have always lived my life “in the past” or “in the future” but… hardly ever “NOW”! That in itself is liberation to know that the past is gone and tomorrow never comes. To be here “NOW” realizing that if I relinquish myself to “NOW” that what I am called to do, my purpose will draw me and place me where I need to be at every moment. Living each moment as a Divine appointment!
God, the Universe and Creation have given us so many tools. There are so many spiritual abilities and senses that we are not utilizing that are available to us “NOW”. We are not here on this earth just so we can get through school to die and move on. We are here for a reason and we are in agreement with that call and purpose. Many of us feel “stuck” and frustrated because we are trying to move our mountains with spoons when there are 100 bulldozers parked right behind us or we may be pulling our beautifully carved sculptures behind us. This is the most amazing reality is that we are not utilizing all these wonderful tools that we have been given to help us help others and to answer the questions “who am I and Why am I here?” There is a question that people ask “Do you want to be happy or right?” usually that question is asked when people are quarreling! I guess the question today is “Do we want to live in a state of mind or a state of being?” These states are two totally different ways of existing right “NOW”.
We find ourselves in the midst of a difficult conflict and we are dumbfounded and frustrated. We take the conflict and we hold it up to the light and look at it from every facet, put it down on the table and walk around it looking at it as if it were going to speak. We carry it with us, put it away and take it back out only to find that nothing has changed. Expecting some resolve as though time has any bearing on the difficulty. These trials and testings we find ourselves in are a part of this wonderful organism called life. We cannot outsmart them or outrun them; they come without notice most of the time. They are the surprise visitors at your front door that we are not prepared to entertain. We ask ourselves why? What is the purpose of this situation? We blame ourselves for bad choices, fret because we feel unfairly treated and even blame others for these difficulties that we experience. Only to find ourselves still standing in the midst of the fire without any improvement or wisdom.
We just want a reprieve of this pain even if for one hour but, no reprieve comes. It’s like banging your fists against the wall at the end of the fight your hands are broken but the wall remains unmoved and without a sound of pity. We are left with our tears of pain and words of anger like souvenirs to our emotions. We get desperate thinking and start to create plans on how to escape this prison of conflict. We try to investigate the solution, inform ourselves on methods and ask advice from others. Somehow we begin to feel that we must embark on the roads to educate ourselves in everyway possible as though knowledge is the key to freedom. Knowledge brings a small and very short lived peace in the trials and testing I am discussing. The cruelty of knowledge in this situation is that it brings a false hope and one finds themselves right to back where they started just more aware of their predicament.
Think about your trial that you are facing what are the symptoms? Emotional pain, financial pain or physical pain these are the symptoms to the problem that exists. We truly believe that our answers can be found by looking at the symptoms. Emotional pain tells us that we may be lonely so we must have a partner to make this trial go away. Financial pain requires us to make more money to alleviate the testing. Physical pain speaks to us and tells us if we could just find the right medicine or doctor we will find the remedy and our ill’s will be healed. All these symptoms are true in every respect. Although knowing the answer to the symptom does not always change the circumstance even a small percentage. Knowing the answer that makes us feel better and receiving it is two different ideas. The trial that brought you to this painful destination requires an agreement with its original intent. We must come to the place where we accept that reason for this is not only to teach us something but, to create a work in us that will change who are and how we think. We are constantly evolving into a higher intelligence and a more spiritual force. We never come to a place when this work is finished we must realize that what we gain in this arena stays with us eternally.
The world teaches us that if we gain it’s wealth than we will have security and happiness. Although, wealth does relieve a lot of problems when comes to what the world requires of you to live peacefully it does not control the unexpected or negotiate with fate. To be rich not just as the world defines us but, to be rich in spirit this is the destiny of the eternal work. Many wealthy people are poor beggars in their spirit and do not understand after all their education that wealth comes in many forms, ideas and energy sources.
To be spiritual rich and use the wealth of this world is what God wants for us. To gain this position we must release ourselves from holding, hoarding and controlling what does not belong to us. We have to stop thinking with the logical short terms of this lifetime and start agreeing with the spiritual long term effects of eternity. The spiritual world has a structure that is in constant motion. To receive you must learn to give, it is a flow of energy that produces purpose for the eternal destiny of others.
Look at your situation what’s the source of contention? Now look at yourself what do constantly defend? What is that you think you know the most? If you can possibly open your eyes and see the problems without the tainted idea and knowledge of your past and present you may just get a glimpse of the truth. We must be willing to learn again what we think we have always relied on for strength and stability. This is a very hard endeavor to undertake because many of us hold onto the past as a crutch and then there are others that use the past failures and successes to define them today. What is your definition? If we took away everything, the past, the present and the future who are you? The spiritual process uses revelation to transform who we are. To gain the revealing truth that can transform us we must relinquish ourselves completely to the work of the Spirit.
Take the trial and testing you may be enduring right now and look at it again. Start over and lay down everything you may have realized to be the standard and truth that you relied on in the past. We keep trying to dress the problem up with different clothes thinking that if we make it look different it will change. It must be seen in its raw rudimentary form and that is exactly where the revelation exists. Truth does not have any icing or window dressings. It is clear and sharp and at the moment it is seen it brings clarity to our minds and emotional frame that causes a change from within and without.
There are spiritual laws and formulas that create energy in the spiritual realm. They are constant forces that bring reaction to actions, they can create or destroy it all depends if we are in agreement with these laws and formulas. Of course, these laws and formulas do exist do not dictate the Mind of God or the Universe’s intent they are formed for our well being. There is one constant in the unseen realm and that is presence of NOW. This NOW is the connecting factor to very axis in the spiritual realm. The revelation is perfectly balanced in the middle of the axis of past and the future as well as the axis of your present symptoms and your solution. Revelation is not knowledge but a spiritual action that is moved by our desire to seek beyond what we know and what we can see and that moment when it as though someone has turned the light on in the dark room where we have been. Although the light comes it does not remain. Revelation is not knowledge although, it may bring a new though or action it remains the mysterious work of the Spirit.
We pray for help and help appears to be conflict. If we are going to grow spiritually we must be willing to learn through change. We as humans don’t like change it takes us out of our comfort zone. We would rather live with the devil we know than the devil we don’t know. Change can be quite painful for many of us. The motion and flow of Energy of the Universe is in the state of constant change. When we get stuck spiritually we begin to feel that we are being pulled behind a tractor down a rocky road. We experience pain and conflict because even though we are still moving forward we have no control over the situation or movement. Prisoners of change are the dichotomy to spiritual apprehension.
Revelation brings freedom. What a beautiful thing when we experience that release in a second at the moment we are changed. What we have been striving and beating ourselves up over for days, months and years is removed. The path is clear and it appears as though the winds of the Universe are blowing with us instead of against us. We perceive that the heaviness we have experienced for so long has lifted and we are light and our vision is simply clear.
You may ask are we at the mercy of the learning experience or can we be taught to agree with God’s intent and the powers that be? Or do we just evolve through every experience? Must we continually endure the school of spiritual hard knocks to learn what we need to know or is there a more spiritually civilized intention to this transforming process? Are we victims to the abuse of conflict and crisis that causes us to stumble to every mark of spiritual maturity?
This poses the question is every problem a spiritual issue? When we move beyond what we thought we knew and what was such a priority to us and into the unknown we also experience a void of knowledge. We are in unfamiliar territory and like explorers in a new world we cannot recognize what we see, we become apprehensive and on guard spiritually.
Now we begin a new process where all the theology we have been taught and knowledge of what we knew God to be in our lives in the past is on the spot. Here is one the trickiest places to be because how does one release what they believe their spiritual foundations and experience. These attributes have become our sacred interest and we will protect them with our lives. We become highly offended and deliberately private because this is our sacred “stash”. It is what I call the “ I know, that I know, that I know” barricade. Can truth create an argument against experience? This is the place so many of us remain because we are not willing to lay down “Our” faith, beliefs, experiences, theology and even to the extent of trust to move forward on this journey.
If this does not stop you in your tracks and send you running in circles then you may get caught into the trap of self righteous addictions. Begin to inspect ourselves our short comings, our expertise, or lack there of, our failures, or successes and our weak human nature. We begin to judge ourselves and find ourselves on the fence of the positive or negative side of self righteous conclusions. In this arena we become our own worse enemy. It appears that someone let the lions out and we are being chased down by our own fear. Pride comes in many disguises and is one of the greatest barricades to receiving. Pride has many disguises from the humble beggar to the relentless evil ruler. It is an animal that transforms itself to fit the occasion with whatever face it needs to remain self preserved. You may say I don’t have any pride because I am a failure. But, even in that statement pride remains because you have concluded that pride and failure are enemies. But nothing could be far from the truth. Many of us stay in a cycle of failure because we have agreed that it is better to be a victim of circumstance and character than to be an overcomer through accepting the responsibility of actions or lack there of.
Dont let FEAR run your life…. Fear is False Events Appearing Real! Fear says it’s protecting you when it is actually paralyzing you! What if’s? should be Why not’s?
The Dark Room!
I have decided to not create my own darkness… to let the light out … pull back the curtains of my soul and open the windows of my heart! In the darkness of fear I have closed up and believed that I could protect myself from the outside not understanding that in that struggle to keep the windows shut and curtains closed I was in my own personal dark prison. Crying and screaming to get out of the dark room of my soul. Sitting… pacing… sleeping….crying…screaming…silence!!!!! Questioning everything I knew to be truth and love! I peered through the curtain and a small ray of light came streaming in it was then in an instant that I saw the reality of where I was and the only way to find freedom I so desperately wanted. I pulled back every curtain in my soul and opened the windows of my heart letting the light shine in and in a second darkness, fear and confusion disappeared…. And there you were!
The struggle in hiding yourself from the world because you are afraid of pain is the darkness we create for ourselves… thinking that if we cannot be seen then we are safe. In actuality, the darkness we create to feel safe becomes a prison of fear and confusion….. In not being seen we cannot see.
The struggle with the darkness is only what we create with our minds. That is the place where darkness can exist if we allow it. They say we are… our own worst enemy…. This is a great truth! We are own devil and we become the thieves that rob and destroy ourselves in the greatest efforts to protect our deluded minds. Darkness feeds on ignorance and delusion and it is fear that seeks to control the decisions of our minds, the beliefs of our intellect, the actions of our soul and the feelings of our heart. Once fear has anchored itself inside then we become paralyzed hiding ourselves away from the world.
So let today be a new day, open up and allow the sunshine in to your dark room. I know that it is a risk in opening up because you take the chance of experiencing pain. But consider the alternative… sitting in the darkness of confusion is its own very lonely pain. Just because you cannot see does not mean that you cannot feel. Life is full of risk and the chance that we are going to experience pain is 100%. The question is not “Are we going to experience pain?” but, “How are we going to handle the pain we may experience in the future?”
Don’t be a prisoner in your own prison… you have the keys to the door, open the curtains… let the light in and then unlock the door. Everything changes allow your pain to strengthen and change your expectations so that you can be all that you were called to be and do… here and now. Tomorrow never comes!
Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens. ~ Carl Jung (1875-1961)
There is a time for everyone’s awakening, a time when you are called to another place, another time… another world. Everyone dreams it is the natural vision that we are all born with. Dreaming is the infancy of awakening. Some never awake and leave this world dreaming never to experience the awakening. In this world we have takers and givers, victims and overcomers, winners and losers, leaders and followers and dreamers and visionaries.
There is a time for all of us, a time when we come to the precipice of all that we have ever known, every place we have ever been, everyone we have ever known and all of our experiences call to us. Many of us keep moving along and never stop to listen and seek out what is calling and drawing them. In fact, the calling causes them to react to the world around them and they are driven harder to purse the outside dreams with even more strength. Then there are those who hear the calling and stop…. They feel as though they are lost…. They seek and appear not to find… They use every resource inside and out, the spiritual and the natural to find out what is calling them. The more they look the more lost and alone they experience, not understanding the language of the call and the blinding darkness frustrates them to point of desperation. Caught in a place that does not appear in the natural to exist but, inside their soul they feel the whirlwinds of it’s passion, the shaking of it’s intensity, the fire of it’s purification, the bitterness of it’s cold pain and the song that is continually being played on the keys of their heart with such precision and power.
Awakening… Awakening or The Awakening may refer to:
- Wakefulness, the state of being conscious
- Spiritual awakening, a religious experience involving a realization of a sacred dimension of reality
Let’s remove the word “religious” from the definition. A spiritual awakening involving a realization of a sacred dimension of reality.
I only would remove the word “religious” because I do not believe being “religious” has any bearing on the experience awakening that is like saying it only can happen to “religious” people. Awakening calls to each and everyone of us. We are not born “religious” we are taught to be religious. Awakening is an experience that creation experiences every moment. Creation awakens without conflict, without knowledge, everyday it awakens without the help or inspiration of man. Look around you all that you see can teach you what you are seeking. In it’s effortless, fluid resignation to awakening creation teaches us conflict creates disorder.
Now let’s take the word “sacred” away and understand that sacred is something that we have been taught should only be used by the chosen, the saints, and those who bring it out and use it only for a special occasion. A sacred dimension can be realized as a spiritual dimension of reality that exists everywhere all around us. “Sacred” does not mean in the essence of “sacred”, a place we go to pray or seek God. Many times the word sacred is used for certain people, tools for religious experiences or books we cannot understand. In reality sacred is a beautiful word and it meaning extends so far beyond that which belongs to religious or secretive. In the experience of awakening the dimension that one experiences is like a birth into a multi-dimensional realm that is the father/mother of the natural existence we have lived in since our physical birth.
There was a man of the Pharisees, named Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews:
The same came to Jesus by night, and said unto him,
Rabbi, we know that thou art a teacher come from God:
For no man can do these miracles that thou doest, except God be with him.
Jesus answered and said unto him,
Verily, verily I say unto thee, except a man born be born again, he cannot see the Kingdom of God.
Nicodemus saith unto him, How can a man be born again when he is old?
Can he enter the second time into his mother’s womb, and be born? Jesus answered,
Verily, verily, I say unto thee, except a man born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter into the Kingdom of God.
That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of Spirit is spirit.
Marvel not that I said unto thee, ye must be born again.
The wind bloweth where it listeth, and thou hearest the sound thereof,
But cannot tell whence it comes and where it goeth:
So is every one that is born of the Spirit.
We are all born from the womb, from the water of the flesh. We are created in water of the womb from the moment of our creation here on earth. Being born of the Spirit is a different matter.