Parents and Children

Children stop punishing your parents !
Parents stop punishing your children!
To withdraw or withhold ones relationship or love to inflict pain ….
How can this action be healthy of mind?
Let the pain go!
What we learn too late in life is that pain is reproduced through our own offspring and regret cannot be undone.
Why would a parent punish a child who does not do enough, give enough or “be” enough?
Why would a child do the same?
How could this behavior produce any positive result?
Children you may not remember all that your parent suffered , sacrificed and cared for you and the many nights they did not sleep ….
Are you still keeping them awake tonight?
Parents you may not have been aware of all the times your children have given you their hearts in something as a simple drawing, a kiss or hug
Are you still looking for something more?
I have seen so many people suffer because of this deep pain ( parents and children) sometimes from both ends at the same time.
Isn’t the world harsh enough without adding to it?
If there is one sadness in the world that if it was rectified that could change the whole world ….it would be this sadness!
Why do those who are closest to us break our hearts?
Yet, it is when this connection is severed, punished or unrecognized that we will reap what we have sown.
You cannot retrieve back the time that has been lost and there is not enough money to pay the price for this grief
The days grow shorter
Why ?
Will it be worth it?
Will it truly matter?
Pain reproduces itself and we never learn this until it’s too late
Parents love your children
Children love your parents
This disconnection that exists among us that has caused untold amounts of deep quiet grief and torture is an empty well
Is your grudge big enough?
Is it “ strong” enough?
When will we stop expecting, judging and hurting each other?
Why can’t a child learn to love their parent the best that they can?
Why can’t parents do the same?
There is one thing on this earth you cannot forget ….
A parent cannot forget a child and a child cannot forget a parent
We get to decide how we are going to carry this memory through our actions of today.
Is being “ right” more important than being “ happy”?
You may say I don’t care but, if you don’t think you do now , does not mean that you won’t later ?
Stop withholding your love, your kindness and your time.
Stop the cycle!
Children will always grow up remembering some “ wrong” and parents will never forget a child’s “ bad” decision
You cannot forget and each has their own views
There are no perfect parents or perfect children!
Stop punishing each other…
One may say , “ I am not doing anything wrong?”
No response is a response
No action is a reaction
How can something so sacred be so broken?
Love each other
Do what you can to enrich each other’s lives
All it takes is a phone call
A message
A visit
A simple I love ❤️ you
Don’t waste your time
Is your right to be “ right” worth discovering your choice was harmful and wrong?
Using your “ right”, or “ choice” , or even “ perception” to punish each other today could earn painful scars tomorrow !
Tears that cannot be undone –
Showing love takes a lot less energy than punishing someone either by action or inaction
Choose Love!
Parents talk to your children
Children talk to your parents
Don’t be too late!
Pain reproduces itself …….
Just look around and see …. The truth is before you everywhere you turn.

Signed,
A Parent

Control or Responsibility

Control or Responsibility

Self realization is not just the seeing of the internal truth we hold dear but, it is also seeing the external truth that is present. We cannot disconnect one from the other although, we can place our intention and attention on one or the other at any time. It is when we turn inward to seek the truths of our soul then we are capable of opening our eyes to see the truths of the external that surrounds us. Everything is connected! There is so much internally that we disassociate from but, when we learn to connect to the internal source then we can open our eyes and decipher the external truth that is either hidden or we are blind to. In these external truths they will speak to us and tell us what we need to know to grow and we will also find answers to our questions. If you are sitting and you are meditating, turn inward find your present sacred space, when you find that place where you are present open your eyes and look all around you what is it you see? Allow your soul explain the landscape that is before you. In that landscape you will find the disharmony and harmony of your soul. There are many truths to be seen !

Today my truth is what is it that I am attempting to constantly control or feel the need to control and what is my responsibility to my soul . My responsibilities are necessary to be authentically at peace. We seek peace in so many ways and yet we don’t realize that control will never lead us to peace. We have inadequacies within us and we seek to control our environment and those that are around us so that we may feel at peace or feel solidified.

We may see around us some things that do mirror our peace and fruitfulness and yet, laying beside it can be something that is chaotic, disorderly and maybe even dirty.

These contradictions is where we find ourselves in a dilemma of control or responsibility. This problem is what causes so many health issues within the body. It is when the mind is confusing the rest of the body with messages that our being sent from our disconnection and disorderly internal dialogue that we get confused. Find out what you are responsible for and remove what it is that you are trying to control. Those things that you are trying desperately to control or actually situations that you cannot control without forcibly using energy that is not in harmony with yourself. You are only responsible for the things that your soul needs to thrive! Let go of Control!

Resurrection of a Goddess

Resurrection of a Goddess

I’m 6 months tired

It has been a long horrific journey

Call me a wild crazy woman

Call me untamed, unbridled and unhinged

That lonely woman has gone to sleep and now I have awakened whole

I am ferocious

I am strong in body, unharnessed in Spirit and unraveled of mind

I am pure intention now

Everything I do draws fantastic intention

God remembers me!

Without the lure of intention I have no interest … be gone!

I now longer hear the voices of my scars

Peace has won!

I have been carved from the stones of my painful stories creating jagged cliffs that invite me to soar

I am a force …. I am brutal wisdom !

I am a rage with holy fire within my bones and shackled love consumes me where hate violated my soul

I rise! I burn! I RISE! Flames fall from my whispering songs

I am unfamiliar to the world, I hold the shedding skins of my youthful dreams

I am free now!

Timeless

Eternal

Ageless

I have danced on the worn out masks of illusion grinding them into fine dust

Incapacitated and drunk on the words of my invisible captors

I laugh as their curses fall to the ground like broken chains

I am the key

I am the lock

I see all that belongs to me

It is in me

I AM

I honor this sacred transformation

I breath in beauty to receive

With an open heart… can see

Come ! Let me go!

I am the hidden of ancient knowledge and speak a thousand tongues

I am the mystery from the hidden depths of countless seas

I carry within me the birth of Universes

I am the light that dwells in darkness and the darkness cannot understand

The Earth knows my name and calls to me

Come lay with us!

We are One!

I know longer exist in the chaos of shattered vision

I am covered with eyes!

Who can say they know me?

No one!

I am a temple of the unseen Creator

I give birth

I give life

I am the beginning and I am the end

Who can know me?

None!

EMOTIONAL HOSTAGE

Emotional Hostage

It’s alright to be damn angry! Stop holding in your emotions!

It is about time you honor your emotions ! The dark and the light, the good and the bad, the shadow of whot you are and are not!

Free yourself from the silent strangulation of control!

If your angry… yell!

If your sad….. cry!

If your afraid…. Scream!

If your happy…. Laugh

How can you expect to be healthy mentally and physically if you live your life everyday strangling yourself!

What a cost there is for such solemn strength!

This is not the strength your soul yearns for…. This is the deep wounds of betrayal to yourself! To your psyche!

Are you sad? Cry!

Don’t allow your soul to be riddled with numbness covered with scars that alter your awareness of any feeling!

Cry! Scream! Laugh! Yell! Curse!

Break the hardness of the settled pain

Shatter the illusion of the lie that you are strong by, being weak!

Strength does not come from being inauthentic or silent!

Do not let anyone steal your voice!

Do not let anyone steal your tears!

Your laughter!

Your opinion!

Your dreams!

Your feelings!

It is time to take back your power and restore your soul!

Stop considering others over yourself! Maybe they are not worth it…. Maybe they don’t care unless you stay quiet!

Don’t be a fool ……

Your soul is gasping for a breath ….

Breathe!

Free yourself….. No one is coming to save you!

You have the key!

Let the hostage out!

A FRIEND

My friend, hold on to this beautiful truth!

“Those who love you are not fooled by mistakes you have made, or dark images you hold about yourself.

They remember your beauty when you feel ugly;
your wholeness when you are broken;
your innocence when you feel guilty;
and your purpose when you are confused.”💛

~ An African Saying ~

COLLIDING STARS

We almost collided,
ALMOST

We were just stars,
at the edges of neighbouring galaxies,
just about to collide,

but passed by each other,
never touching,
yet feeling the stardust
in each others’ wake.

Nikita Gill

Art ≈ Midnight Stroll by Kori-Z

“ And so we collide”

HAVE WE MET BEFORE?

How many times have I seen this face?
Who can tell me where I came from?
Where is that door I walk through and call home forever?
and….
Have we met before this? In another place? With or without time?
Learning has made Pain a path into the depths of my soul
In all the joyful moments I have experienced I understand now they live somewhere inside of me
I have made it so

COME HOME

COME HOME!

Life is one big experiment, one learning curve to another, one mistake after another, revelation leading to another, being broken to be repaired, getting lost then being found, shedding skins and multiple deaths only to being transformed and rebirthed. Most experiences transformed into branded memories in our mind that replay repeatedly without permission, while other memories are lost somewhere into a sea of forgetfulness.
Most of us wake up in this lucid dream years later under the “big top”, of unpredictability seeking for “ things” that we believe will lead us back to home. Like unconscious nomads we will sooner or later find ourselves wandering in this wonderous unmapped terrain without a clue why we are here and what is the meaning of our life. Trying to connect the dots and make logical sense to our journey, in hope that we can find our truth and story. We come crying into this bright light of life as seekers learning who we are by being taught to “be acceptable” and then we learn who others are in our relationships that who project their ideas that are nothing more than their faults, confusion, brokenness, wisdom, and truth ( not ours ) onto us. These are our teachers of life and now looking back at them we can see clearly we have attained their essence, ( not ours ).
When we were children we would run, play and pretend until one day we “ grow up “, and don’t even realize we have lost our magic and mystical imagination in a dark fog that lays beyond the shores of our innocent laughter and “ make believe “ yet, the echoes ache in or hearts. As we “ grow up ”, meaning we physically get older and lose those powers that enforce the true essence of our being. Now we long for what we do not have and have so much of what we do not want. We surrender our imaginative seekings for constant desperate longings, striving more each day to reach some invisible pinnacle of achievement seeking accolades, acceptance and security. Each time we conquer a test or trial we grip tightly all our trophies that we have won through our hard work and sacrifice. Not having the life experience to see that the faster we run the less time we have. The ultimate conquest and final notice is we all will arrive at the same destination sooner or later. The more we travel on the path of life, the more we realize that work is endless plowing of the field and sacrifice is many times a wound that never heals. Bleeding out at times to the point that we grapple of struggling to find the strength to get up and start again. So many, “ do overs “, like children when we learned that we could always begin again without consequences but, now our “ do overs “ cost us time, tears, loved ones, relationships, money, dreams and even home”. All the things we believed as children have become faded, distorted, stolen and untrue departing from our thoughts as nothing more than fairy tales. Time passes by and we find ourselves in a place that we are not familiar with, surrounded by those we don’t know anymore. Our life and soul cracks open us up, if we are fortunate, to reveal that everything we thought we were is but, a white washed shell of others ideas, desires, beliefs and faults.
Infamous is the day that we are shattered into so many pieces that our unrecognizable soul lays prostrate in the burning ashes and slivered chards of what is left of what we were. Birth is beautifully painful and yet, death bites us without warning striking its venomous poison deep within rotting us from the inside out leaving us alone. As time passes, our fragile finite bodies collect the beautiful, loving, truth, happy, sad, ugly, broken and empty ingredients for our life recipe. Little do we know that one day we will be seated at the table that we have built and find ourselves eating the very meal we have created by ourselves.
We find ourselves seeking for something familiar and we start to sense a strange, sweet pain that whispers to our soul. Home becomes a deep secret that we keep protected in our hearts that can be triggered by the smells of baked cookies, crisp soft sheets, music, playmates, being held or not being held, sneaking outside, the visions of freedom unrestrained and living days of discovering the first times of our lives.
So many of us reach a point in our lives that we long for home, and as strange as that may sound because we have had many homes already in our life. But, there is this place in our soul that calls to us, “ find home!”. We search for a place to land from our weary travels and rest ourselves from the battles we have faced and loss we have incurred. Seeking that sacred sanctuary where we can go to knowing that it is “ ours “, a dwelling that cannot be lost or taken one more time from us. To not have to worry that home is not connected to who we are living with or that it can be even split into. Home! Our home! That place we can always go to that we belong to and belongs to us, and no on has any rights to it, but us. We can stay as long as we want and if we decide to leave it, we can lock the doors without any keys for others who can come and go as they please. How beautiful is this place that we search for, that we can go into and lock the doors and lock the world out, if we so choose.
What does your home look like? If you could build this place of safety and refuge what colors would you use? How would you decorate this special place and if there were no restraints financially or provisionally what would you build? Now I can feel my imagination stirring within me like a child who has been given their first box of crayons, so many colors and each one makes me feel a certain way. Yes, I think I will color a house on the top of a beautiful green hill with a bright red front door, a large tree, a swing and deep green grass. A beautiful blue sky some white clouds, a big bright yellow sun with rays of orange shooting out and I think I will put a smiling face in it so that it I will remember to smile every time I see it.
Many of us feel like we are prisoners in places where we live because so we have many outside circumstances that control our lives. We realize that we have created in this prison of our lives our position of being enslaved to our fear of loss. There were times in our lives before that we can look back in our past that we stepped out, jumped ship, and took the risks to free ourselves from or prison. Pain has the ability to push us to the edge whether it be the threshold or standing on a cliff awakening to the sound of crumbling ground behind our heels. Like a bird that takes flight from being startled, we jump and pray that we fly or at least land in one piece. Fear can only hold those who will not accept the truth about their soul’s true condition and see how depraved their lives have become living on the crumbs for so long that their pain and hunger creates a tormenting desperation that they can no longer live with. How self-destructive to wake up every day to only realize you are living to just barely sustaining your life. Learning the skill of managing your life with a wounded soul, faded dreams, broken trust, unloyalty, and dealing with the deep emotionally physical damage, collecting medicinal bottles to ease your sicknesses, ailments or worse. It is unfathomable how the soul will go to any lengths to survive and if the soul cannot accomplish this it, will employ our mind in order that we can maintain and disassociate from the parasitic tentacles that are draining us of our time, energy, health and hope.
We each have our unique path, like our blueprint and we are individually are in different places on our journey but, one thing for sure we will all experience these feelings whether you may admit it or keep it as a deep secret. We are all human, although, I have met a few people that I have wondered about. The most loyal act you can do for yourself is to listen to your soul. So many of us drown out our truthful authentic souls voice for many reasons but, it is your soul that knows the truth and not just the truth but, your emancipating powerful truth. Maybe its time to get quiet, find a sacred space and take the time to be loyal to yor soul. We spend so much of our lives and energy being loyal to our jobs, our family, our significant other and friends. Exhausting so much of ourselves to keep the peace or stay in the good graces of “ life “. All the time we are doing this very thing we find ourselves sad, miserable, discontent or very disconnected with a loss of inner peace. We will have moments in our lives that we will need to take an emotional, physical and spiritual inventory in order that we can bring balance back into our lives. This inventory may create chaos that will have to be faced courageously and other times it maybe just a little change that will bring equilibrium back. We have been trained to avoid suffering at all costs, to skirt any pain if we can. In truth, it is pain and suffering that brings the truth and answers that we seek so many times. It is at those times we need to learn to sit down with our pain and ask what does this pain need? What is it saying to me? Maybe, your pain is the fear of loss? So much of our lives are built around the fear of loss, we will do so much to keep things intact. Many of those things we do will cost us and the price is very high but, hindsight is 20/20. Can you sit with your pain, suffering, loss, betrayal, confusion and anger long enough to have yours opened? It will take courage and I am not suggesting it will be easy but, I will tell you that it is the only way to find the truth about what you need to know to overcome these battles. It is not our light that we fear but, our darkness and we all have our dark caves that we must learn to excavate if we long to transform our pain into our power. It is our deep inner guru that awaits in the dark caves of truth calling to you, “ come home!”

YOU CANNOT!

You cannot reason with unreasonable people
You cannot talk logically to an illogical mind
You cannot express honest emotions to a emotionally unstable individual
You cannnot be honest with those who lie
You cannot trust someone who talks about others behind their backs when they are not around
You cannot expect someone to be generous because they have money … generosity doesn’t come from the wallet it comes from the heart!
You cannot expect gratitude from anyone who displays selfishness
You cannot look for loyalty In someone who is constantly judgmental
You cannot find compassion in a critical heart
You cannot find a true friend in fair weather
Only storms create them!
You cannot believe you are always right
Agree to disagree
You cannot believe you are always wrong
Agree to disagree
You cannot concede to ownership
You will eventually find yourself a slave
You cannot believe someone is telling the whole truth most likely they are telling the truth they know
You cannot give permission to just anyone or everyone
Permission like respect should be earned or granted
You cannot be close to a person who burns others
A fire does not have any discretion
You cannot find humility in someone who tells you they are humbled
You cannot stop people from continuing to harm you unless you make them apart of your past
You cannot get rid of the memories but, you can get rid of the pain
You cannot listen to everything you hear
Know when to turn off the “ sound”
You cannot be labeled unless you pin it on yourself
You cannot understand what I have written unless you have been through it all!

I WANT TO LIVE!

God please give me the strength and help to say good bye…. It has taken its toll on me in every way! But… My body can not handle it anymore. I cannot control or understand why others would create so much pain for me. But, I have tried and I must stop letting the pain rob me of my life, my joy and my health. It wasn’t my choice to do this – it was the only thing i can do to survive. My love will always be there but, I must accept their choices that they don’t need to have what I need. I have done all I can do … Please fill my emptiness with what is helpful for me. I need to for my heart to get better I cannot wait any longer feeling this pain. I hope I can learn to forgive what was taken from me. Too many tears, too much pain, and I have done my best. Time tells all I put this matter in Your hands. The truth is in Your hands. I must now become someone new, I must leave not just my past behind….. But I must say ” Good Bye” until one day those who I love may be changed.
I want to live!

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